








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
869 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1063 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1354 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 938 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 911 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $276,195 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FejkMeisTeR | 51% | 88 |
| #2 | Snusken | 46% | 107 |
| #3 | Gordon klotpung | 44% | 54 |
| #4 | ES | 43% | 46 |
| #5 | Blåbban | 41% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Snusken | 46% | 107 |
| #3 | Gordon klotpung | 44% | 54 |
| #4 | ES | 43% | 46 |
| #5 | Blåbban | 41% | 107 |
| #6 | Cpt_Grogu | 20% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blåbban | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | FejkMeisTeR | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Snusken | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Gordon klotpung | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FejkMeisTeR | 303 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Snusken | 139 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Gordon klotpung | 72 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Blåbban | 61 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cpt_Grogu | 12 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gordon klotpung | +7.74 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | FejkMeisTeR | +3.69 | 66 | 75 |
| #3 | Snusken | -0.28 | 55 | 70 |
| #4 | Blåbban | -2.23 | 33 | 37 |
| #5 | Pajala | -2.80 | 61 | 49 |





