








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1535 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 125 | 12% |
| Smokes | 385 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 221 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 353 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $674,375 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gordon klotpung | 48% | 322 |
| #2 | FejkMeisTeR | 48% | 65 |
| #3 | Blåbban | 46% | 136 |
| #4 | Snusken | 44% | 78 |
| #5 | Pajala | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gordon klotpung | 48% | 322 |
| #2 | FejkMeisTeR | 48% | 65 |
| #3 | Blåbban | 46% | 136 |
| #4 | Snusken | 44% | 78 |
| #5 | Pajala | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gordon klotpung | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | FejkMeisTeR | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Blåbban | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Snusken | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Pajala | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gordon klotpung | 406 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #2 | FejkMeisTeR | 256 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Snusken | 112 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pajala | 78 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Blåbban | 68 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gordon klotpung | +7.31 | 74 | 60 |
| #2 | FejkMeisTeR | +3.21 | 66 | 77 |
| #3 | Snusken | -1.06 | 47 | 68 |
| #4 | Blåbban | -2.27 | 34 | 44 |
| #5 | Pajala | -2.94 | 49 | 55 |





