








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Wingman | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1269 | 33% |
| Smokes | 881 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1221 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 531 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $688,788 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hasbulla thug hunter🤑 | 52% | 205 |
| #2 | Haubna | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | Nipsu75 | 44% | 39 |
| #4 | outow | 42% | 36 |
| #5 | Helmeri | 39% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | outow | 42% | 36 |
| #5 | Helmeri | 39% | 76 |
| #6 | JaakkoAA_Gaming_fan | 38% | 26 |
| #7 | STEFFE | 38% | 24 |
| #8 | jamppa | 32% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helmeri | 23 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | hasbulla thug hunter🤑 | 21 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | STEFFE | 16 | 0.0332 |
| #4 | jamppa | 8 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | Haubna | 8 | 0.0196 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helmeri | 168 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | hasbulla thug hunter🤑 | 164 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | STEFFE | 83 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | jamppa | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | outow | 72 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haubna | +4.29 | 95 | 29 |
| #2 | JaakkoAA_Gaming_fan | +1.65 | 62 | 45 |
| #3 | oupeks | +1.57 | 68 | 35 |
| #4 | hasbulla thug hunter🤑 | +1.01 | 60 | 19 |
| #5 | Nipsu75 | +0.82 | 56 | 69 |





