








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 484 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Wingman | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3081 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4278 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4650 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3268 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3381 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,290,936 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 388 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hasbulla thug hunter🤑 | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | Dankke | 56% | 86 |
| #3 | Parsakaali | 43% | 65 |
| #4 | Nipsu75 | 43% | 284 |
| #5 | oupeks | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Dankke | 56% | 86 |
| #3 | Parsakaali | 43% | 65 |
| #4 | Nipsu75 | 43% | 284 |
| #5 | oupeks | 42% | 36 |
| #6 | Helmeri | 39% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helmeri | 18 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Parsakaali | 17 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | Nipsu75 | 16 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | oupeks | 11 | 0.0150 |
| #5 | Dankke | 6 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nipsu75 | 412 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #2 | Dankke | 289 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Helmeri | 259 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Parsakaali | 257 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | oupeks | 51 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oupeks | +2.41 | 70 | 35 |
| #2 | Nipsu75 | +1.79 | 52 | 61 |
| #3 | hasbulla thug hunter🤑 | +1.33 | 58 | 18 |
| #4 | Helmeri | +0.07 | 66 | 49 |
| #5 | Parsakaali | +0.00 | 54 | 53 |





