








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1953 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4148 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 1378 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1490 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $872,039 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaakkoAA_Gaming_fan | 50% | 90 |
| #2 | hasbulla thug hunter🤑 | 47% | 75 |
| #3 | Nipsu75 | 46% | 188 |
| #4 | oupeks | 39% | 76 |
| #5 | outow | 39% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | hasbulla thug hunter🤑 | 47% | 75 |
| #3 | Nipsu75 | 46% | 188 |
| #4 | oupeks | 39% | 76 |
| #5 | outow | 39% | 150 |
| #6 | Parsakaali | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oupeks | 40 | 0.0271 |
| #2 | Nipsu75 | 13 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | outow | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | JaakkoAA_Gaming_fan | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | hasbulla thug hunter🤑 | 7 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nipsu75 | 333 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | outow | 299 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | oupeks | 165 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Parsakaali | 113 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | JaakkoAA_Gaming_fan | 95 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaakkoAA_Gaming_fan | +1.50 | 73 | 43 |
| #2 | Nipsu75 | +0.76 | 54 | 69 |
| #3 | oupeks | +0.42 | 58 | 38 |
| #4 | Helmeri | -0.03 | 68 | 51 |
| #5 | hasbulla thug hunter🤑 | -0.11 | 61 | 17 |





