








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Wingman | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3415 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2906 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3673 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2781 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1832 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,639,402 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hasbulla thug hunter🤑 | 50% | 38 |
| #2 | JaakkoAA_Gaming_fan | 46% | 78 |
| #3 | Helmeri | 46% | 188 |
| #4 | Parsakaali | 44% | 70 |
| #5 | oupeks | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | JaakkoAA_Gaming_fan | 46% | 78 |
| #3 | Helmeri | 46% | 188 |
| #4 | Parsakaali | 44% | 70 |
| #5 | oupeks | 44% | 39 |
| #6 | outow | 43% | 284 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helmeri | 25 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | oupeks | 21 | 0.0261 |
| #3 | outow | 14 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Parsakaali | 11 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | JaakkoAA_Gaming_fan | 8 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | outow | 570 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | Helmeri | 393 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Parsakaali | 258 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | oupeks | 77 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | JaakkoAA_Gaming_fan | 75 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nipsu75 | +1.20 | 52 | 64 |
| #2 | JaakkoAA_Gaming_fan | +1.16 | 67 | 41 |
| #3 | oupeks | -0.04 | 59 | 39 |
| #4 | Helmeri | -0.51 | 65 | 57 |
| #5 | Parsakaali | -0.97 | 56 | 55 |





