








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
676 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,327 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 597 | 26% |
| Smokes | 723 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 527 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 480 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,407 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jexi | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Amateur Sink Pisser | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Forxe | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | dish-washer | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | Prank3d | 43% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prank3d | 14 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | Forxe | 8 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | Amateur Sink Pisser | 4 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | rice farmer | 4 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | Epona | 3 | 0.0197 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prank3d | 222 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Forxe | 147 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | Grim | 138 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Amateur Sink Pisser | 87 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | rice farmer | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prank3d | +4.81 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | Epona | +4.48 | 95 | 57 |
| #3 | Forxe | +3.23 | 71 | 66 |
| #4 | Auriel | -0.89 | 55 | 50 |
| #5 | Grim | -1.78 | 28 | 57 |





