








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 857 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1977 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,628 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1541 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1653 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1660 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 774 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,136,150 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 987 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kkkkk | 50% | 18 |
| #2 | EggY | 49% | 89 |
| #3 | N166A | 47% | 70 |
| #4 | edjis | 44% | 72 |
| #5 | b0xyy | 41% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kkkkk | 50% | 18 |
| #2 | EggY | 49% | 89 |
| #3 | N166A | 47% | 70 |
| #4 | edjis | 44% | 72 |
| #5 | b0xyy | 41% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N166A | 14 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | edjis | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | b0xyy | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | kkkkk | 2 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N166A | 179 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | b0xyy | 75 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | edjis | 70 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | EggY | 56 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | kkkkk | 21 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kkkkk | +4.33 | 72 | 60 |
| #2 | b0xyy | +3.15 | 75 | 54 |
| #3 | N166A | +0.91 | 63 | 56 |
| #4 | 𝖉𝖎𝖘𝖆𝖇𝖑𝖊𝖉 | +0.44 | 54 | 46 |
| #5 | EggY | -1.45 | 34 | 43 |





