








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,567 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 952 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1001 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1130 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 484 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $812,776 of utility $260 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 513 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππππππππ | 50% | 18 |
| #2 | N166A | 49% | 75 |
| #3 | edjis | 49% | 75 |
| #4 | EggY | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | Mechaβ’ | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | N166A | 49% | 75 |
| #3 | edjis | 49% | 75 |
| #4 | EggY | 48% | 33 |
| #5 | Mechaβ’ | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | b0xyy | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N166A | 23 | 0.0151 |
| #2 | edjis | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | b0xyy | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | ππππππππ | 3 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | Mechaβ’ | 2 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N166A | 225 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | edjis | 70 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | b0xyy | 60 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mechaβ’ | 51 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | ππππππππ | 29 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0xyy | +2.74 | 75 | 50 |
| #2 | Mechaβ’ | +1.40 | 74 | 77 |
| #3 | N166A | +1.05 | 66 | 56 |
| #4 | kkkkk | -0.15 | 53 | 51 |
| #5 | ππππππππ | -0.76 | 36 | 42 |





