








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 994 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 141 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1398 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2427 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2333 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1340 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,480,539 of utility $266 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 886 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N166A | 46% | 211 |
| #2 | edjis | 45% | 217 |
| #3 | ππππππππ | 41% | 61 |
| #4 | kkkkk | 39% | 44 |
| #5 | EggY | 38% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | edjis | 45% | 217 |
| #3 | ππππππππ | 41% | 61 |
| #4 | kkkkk | 39% | 44 |
| #5 | EggY | 38% | 103 |
| #6 | Mechaβ’ | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N166A | 45 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | edjis | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | ππππππππ | 10 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | kkkkk | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Mechaβ’ | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N166A | 605 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | edjis | 242 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mechaβ’ | 131 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #4 | ππππππππ | 107 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | EggY | 79 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0xyy | +2.12 | 72 | 55 |
| #2 | N166A | +0.63 | 62 | 57 |
| #3 | Mechaβ’ | +0.15 | 68 | 75 |
| #4 | ππππππππ | -1.59 | 51 | 40 |
| #5 | EggY | -2.08 | 32 | 41 |





