








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,089 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 510 | 24% |
| Smokes | 489 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 592 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 498 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $529,376 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jorenzo | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | Sementtisetä | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | Kilpa-Auto | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | bl4nk | 50% | 90 |
| #5 | λ hönö | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | bl4nk | 50% | 90 |
| #5 | λ hönö | 43% | 14 |
| #6 | Zokkine | 42% | 12 |
| #7 | BananaBread29 | 33% | 18 |
| #8 | Flyys | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jorenzo | 13 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | Sementtisetä | 5 | 0.0157 |
| #3 | bl4nk | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | λ hönö | 2 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Zokkine | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bl4nk | 123 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | jorenzo | 89 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Flyys | 30 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sementtisetä | 27 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | λ hönö | 27 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kilpa-Auto | +2.80 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | Sementtisetä | +1.94 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | bl4nk | +1.06 | 75 | 41 |
| #4 | jorenzo | +0.96 | 58 | 63 |
| #5 | BananaBread29 | +0.76 | 69 | 34 |





