








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1361 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 613 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




143 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,313 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3496 | 26% |
| Smokes | 439 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 5450 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 3928 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,324,126 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 312 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | CHICKENBORGER | 52% | 452 |
| #3 | 3XL | 48% | 432 |
| #4 | Rain_ | 45% | 152 |
| #5 | Devejs | 42% | 91 |
| #6 | Riciits | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHICKENBORGER | 72 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | 3XL | 39 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Rain_ | 16 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Devejs | 13 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Riciits | 9 | 0.0094 |





