








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 462 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5483 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5130 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5190 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4811 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,519,161 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 930 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miks☭triks | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | Tobiazo | 56% | 78 |
| #3 | bololo | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | ☭ miks | 53% | 211 |
| #5 | pappagrefs | 49% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Tobiazo | 56% | 78 |
| #3 | bololo | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | ☭ miks | 53% | 211 |
| #5 | pappagrefs | 49% | 63 |
| #6 | Hydrohermann | 48% | 309 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hydrohermann | 16 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ☭ miks | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | miks☭triks | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | bololo | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | pappagrefs | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hydrohermann | 803 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | Tobiazo | 335 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | ☭ miks | 320 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | bololo | 178 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #5 | pappagrefs | 118 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☭ miks | +3.07 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | miks☭triks | +2.84 | 75 | 56 |
| #3 | pappagrefs | +1.23 | 80 | 53 |
| #4 | Tobiazo | +0.92 | 60 | 75 |
| #5 | bololo | -0.03 | 54 | 75 |





