








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 820 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 793 matches | ||
| Wingman | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8604 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6399 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7212 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8359 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7084 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,785,819 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1388 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobiazo | 53% | 105 |
| #2 | ☭ miks | 52% | 545 |
| #3 | pappagrefs | 48% | 112 |
| #4 | mixnus | 48% | 309 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tobiazo | 53% | 105 |
| #2 | ☭ miks | 52% | 545 |
| #3 | pappagrefs | 48% | 112 |
| #4 | mixnus | 48% | 309 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mixnus | 38 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | ☭ miks | 19 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | pappagrefs | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Tobiazo | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mixnus | 1022 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #2 | ☭ miks | 750 | 0.07 | 16 min |
| #3 | Tobiazo | 606 | 0.27 | 20 min |
| #4 | pappagrefs | 218 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☭ miks | +2.88 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | pappagrefs | +1.16 | 81 | 53 |
| #3 | Tobiazo | +0.24 | 57 | 73 |
| #4 | Hydrohermann | -0.38 | 52 | 47 |
| #5 | mixnus | -2.01 | 57 | 57 |





