








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3380 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2904 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2016 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2613 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $838,161 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokady | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | mixnus | 56% | 78 |
| #3 | ☭ miks | 55% | 156 |
| #4 | Rattis | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | Hydrohermann | 53% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Gatland | 50% | 16 |
| #7 | NoyZ | 50% | 74 |
| #8 | Lax it up | 43% | 30 |
| #9 | pappagrefs | 39% | 28 |
| #10 | XRuudy | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mixnus | 10 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | ☭ miks | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | NoyZ | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Hydrohermann | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Rattis | 2 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoyZ | 377 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #2 | Hydrohermann | 280 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | ☭ miks | 237 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | mixnus | 228 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Lax it up | 61 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoyZ | +2.26 | 77 | 79 |
| #2 | ☭ miks | +2.08 | 79 | 58 |
| #3 | pappagrefs | +1.16 | 75 | 58 |
| #4 | Tobiazo | +0.69 | 60 | 69 |
| #5 | Gatland | -1.16 | 36 | 34 |





