








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5194 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,379 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6434 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3665 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4742 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3538 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $918,191 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 392 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pseudophed | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | Eepy | 54% | 48 |
| #3 | FizzTags | 50% | 84 |
| #4 | Krueger | 49% | 86 |
| #5 | Borslatt | 48% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pseudophed | 148 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | Krueger | 144 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Borslatt | 99 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Eepy | 93 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Samski | 92 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wankington | +1.56 | 67 | 56 |
| #2 | snickerdoc | +1.53 | 59 | 54 |
| #3 | FizzTags | +1.41 | 53 | 21 |
| #4 | Eepy | +0.81 | 78 | 44 |
| #5 | pseudophed | +0.49 | 39 | 67 |





