










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2407 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,225 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1644 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1110 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1302 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1169 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $480,356 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 398 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schizoid | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | G2 Alloyy | 45% | 22 |
| #3 | Lycan | 40% | 25 |
| #4 | Herb | 39% | 33 |
| #5 | orange cat | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Lycan | 40% | 25 |
| #4 | Herb | 39% | 33 |
| #5 | orange cat | 36% | 22 |
| #6 | autistic *rico veen* | 33% | 12 |
| #7 | Masuteri_ | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schizoid | 8 | 0.0183 |
| #2 | Masuteri_ | 6 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | autistic *rico veen* | 4 | 0.0183 |
| #4 | G2 Alloyy | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | Herb | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lycan | 127 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | orange cat | 71 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | G2 Alloyy | 36 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Herb | 31 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | schizoid | 11 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nanachi97 | +4.07 | 89 | 48 |
| #2 | G2 Alloyy | +1.74 | 62 | 31 |
| #3 | Lycan | +1.45 | 86 | 50 |
| #4 | autistic *rico veen* | -0.18 | 63 | 55 |
| #5 | schizoid | -0.51 | 74 | 19 |





