








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 129 | 25% |
| Smokes | 107 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 125 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 159 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $27,038 of utility $6 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KillerConn | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Granpa | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Sigma | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | BeefBruhhhhh | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | Johnny Lawrence | 43% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teej | 22 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | Granpa | 8 | 0.0258 |
| #3 | FORTUNEWELL | 6 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | IhaveaDUI | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | Cupid Ye | 4 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IhaveaDUI | 113 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Johnny Lawrence | 106 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | FORTUNEWELL | 85 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | ♡frontside_jordan♡ | 54 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cupid Ye | 53 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KillerConn | +2.84 | 79 | 46 |
| #2 | Teej | +2.51 | 70 | 28 |
| #3 | Johnny Lawrence | +2.28 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | BeefBruhhhhh | +2.05 | 74 | 46 |
| #5 | Granpa | +1.77 | 62 | 51 |





