








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,907 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2473 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1725 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1733 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 976 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,198,340 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 沐雨橙风 | 46% | 28 |
| #6 | Cupid Ye | 44% | 136 |
| #7 | hsaw | 43% | 60 |
| #8 | IhaveaDUI | 40% | 89 |
| #9 | corndogslut | 20% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IhaveaDUI | 263 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | Cupid Ye | 227 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ahlecks | 151 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Johnny Lawrence | 142 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | hsaw | 115 | 0.09 | 3 min |





