








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1544 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 312 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3138 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,037 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 521 | 6% |
| Smokes | 2024 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3072 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2420 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,431,111 of utility $280 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shikku | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | SBA | dxcapkop | 47% | 55 |
| #3 | SRX R3belyc1ous | 47% | 30 |
| #4 | smartsyy | 46% | 83 |
| #5 | Darwin | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moon | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | SBA | TTV MrAverageKarp | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | SBA | dxcapkop | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | smartsyy | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Shikku | 4 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smartsyy | 479 | 0.27 | 14 min |
| #2 | Shikku | 136 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | SBA | TTV MrAverageKarp | 101 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | SRX R3belyc1ous | 101 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Darwin | 90 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shikku | +7.40 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | SRX R3belyc1ous | +5.84 | 77 | 44 |
| #3 | DINGLEDANG | +2.64 | 34 | 51 |
| #4 | smartsyy | +2.38 | 59 | 78 |
| #5 | Darwin | +1.81 | 42 | 70 |





