








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 673 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 158 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1469 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 394 | 9% |
| Smokes | 1217 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1106 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1625 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $601,742 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SRX R3belyc1ous | 42% | 90 |
| #2 | PyroPirate | 40% | 173 |
| #3 | rekcuT | 40% | 48 |
| #4 | SBA | dxcapkop | 36% | 106 |
| #5 | SBA | TTV MrAverageKarp | 28% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SBA | TTV MrAverageKarp | 20 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | PyroPirate | 13 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | SBA | dxcapkop | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | SRX R3belyc1ous | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | rekcuT | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SBA | TTV MrAverageKarp | 285 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | SRX R3belyc1ous | 268 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | rekcuT | 134 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | SBA | dxcapkop | 115 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | PyroPirate | 111 | 0.03 | 3 min |





