








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2016 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 500 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,534 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14848 | 34% |
| Smokes | 11507 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8759 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 8420 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,109,375 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shikku | 57% | 253 |
| #2 | ✪ Aur0s | 57% | 46 |
| #3 | Tyler The Man | 48% | 61 |
| #4 | moon | 47% | 684 |
| #5 | Darwin | 47% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | DINGLEDANG | 44% | 220 |
| #9 | CocoQuinn | 44% | 205 |
| #10 | ButterRats | 40% | 100 |
| #11 | Classy | 39% | 46 |
| #12 | Hadi | 35% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moon | 31 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Shikku | 17 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | CocoQuinn | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | DINGLEDANG | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Classy | 9 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shikku | 1187 | 0.24 | 35 min |
| #2 | Darwin | 208 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | DINGLEDANG | 149 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hadi | 114 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | moon | 103 | 0.01 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shikku | +6.09 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | Classy | +4.00 | 86 | 58 |
| #3 | smartsyy | +1.77 | 61 | 72 |
| #4 | WelderMop | +1.04 | 57 | 46 |
| #5 | Darwin | +0.63 | 36 | 67 |





