








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1456 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,453 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1736 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1305 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1102 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 310 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $353,421 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mid | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Haiym22 | 54% | 52 |
| #3 | SkibidiGoonRizzlet | 48% | 128 |
| #4 | Haiym21 | 47% | 47 |
| #5 | Coconaras | 45% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Haiym21 | 47% | 47 |
| #5 | Coconaras | 45% | 69 |
| #6 | Nunget6124 | 43% | 51 |
| #7 | Gilld Chese | 40% | 98 |
| #8 | bissuetox | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SkibidiGoonRizzlet | 20 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Haiym22 | 8 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Nunget6124 | 8 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | Haiym21 | 7 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Coconaras | 6 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coconaras | 377 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #2 | Gilld Chese | 179 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Haiym22 | 150 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | bissuetox | 132 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | SkibidiGoonRizzlet | 91 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SkibidiGoonRizzlet | +4.07 | 72 | 50 |
| #2 | bissuetox | +1.61 | 83 | 63 |
| #3 | Haiym22 | +0.55 | 59 | 70 |
| #4 | Coconaras | -0.90 | 52 | 79 |
| #5 | Nunget6124 | -1.38 | 57 | 41 |





