








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 419 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2781 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2619 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2893 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2009 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,783,375 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #habe# | 63% | 120 |
| #2 | Zaps21 | 58% | 101 |
| #3 | lact0ze | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | Mutike | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | BOT_Roosa | 44% | 348 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaps21 | 25 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | #habe# | 22 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Kebabushka | 18 | 0.0256 |
| #4 | BOT_Roosa | 13 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | MADNESS☠ | 9 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT_Roosa | 358 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #2 | Zaps21 | 276 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | #habe# | 218 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | MADNESS☠ | 163 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | lact0ze | 118 | 0.21 | 3 min |





