








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Wingman | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3471 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2129 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2775 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3067 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1870 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,573,231 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 361 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mau Mau | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Jeff Bezos | 42% | 149 |
| #3 | poeta | 40% | 80 |
| #4 | RAPHAEL | 36% | 137 |
| #5 | LEONARD | 32% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | poeta | 40% | 80 |
| #4 | RAPHAEL | 36% | 137 |
| #5 | LEONARD | 32% | 38 |
| #6 | DONATELLO | 28% | 88 |
| #7 | MICHELANGELO | 28% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAPHAEL | 30 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | DONATELLO | 12 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | LEONARD | 8 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | Jeff Bezos | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | poeta | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeff Bezos | 215 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | DONATELLO | 178 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | MICHELANGELO | 131 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | RAPHAEL | 74 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | poeta | 67 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mau Mau | +2.32 | 72 | 29 |
| #2 | Jeff Bezos | +1.41 | 71 | 43 |
| #3 | RAPHAEL | +0.62 | 56 | 33 |
| #4 | @tomás. | -0.22 | 42 | 51 |
| #5 | LEONARD | -0.78 | 48 | 43 |





