








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 780 | 23% |
| Smokes | 926 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 752 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 913 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $466,727 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STORM | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | Creeper_D | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | Azeteca | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | MICHELANGELO | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | poeta | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | MICHELANGELO | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | poeta | 48% | 48 |
| #6 | DONATELLO | 48% | 23 |
| #7 | @tomás. | 42% | 149 |
| #8 | RAPHAEL | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @tomás. | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | DONATELLO | 7 | 0.0142 |
| #3 | RAPHAEL | 5 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | Creeper_D | 4 | 0.0138 |
| #5 | STORM | 4 | 0.0154 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @tomás. | 315 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Azeteca | 63 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #3 | STORM | 55 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | poeta | 41 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | DONATELLO | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STORM | +7.16 | 77 | 56 |
| #2 | Creeper_D | +4.47 | 76 | 45 |
| #3 | Jeff Bezos | +0.95 | 70 | 42 |
| #4 | RAPHAEL | +0.75 | 63 | 25 |
| #5 | Azeteca | -0.02 | 69 | 63 |





