








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 840 | 33% |
| Smokes | 712 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 558 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 472 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $111,706 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vinnie | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | ☢☯︎|SMOKE|☯︎☢ | 41% | 17 |
| #3 | BILL BIN LADIN | 39% | 38 |
| #4 | Bob | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | SCOOB | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ☢☯︎|SMOKE|☯︎☢ | 41% | 17 |
| #3 | BILL BIN LADIN | 39% | 38 |
| #4 | Bob | 33% | 12 |
| #5 | SCOOB | 33% | 24 |
| #6 | Thot Spencer | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thot Spencer | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | SCOOB | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | ☢☯︎|SMOKE|☯︎☢ | 3 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | Bob | 3 | 0.0135 |
| #5 | BILL BIN LADIN | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BILL BIN LADIN | 69 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | SCOOB | 62 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Thot Spencer | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | ☢☯︎|SMOKE|☯︎☢ | 30 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bob | 21 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob | +4.57 | 48 | 50 |
| #2 | SCOOB | +1.93 | 74 | 62 |
| #3 | BILL BIN LADIN | +1.04 | 64 | 56 |
| #4 | ☢☯︎|SMOKE|☯︎☢ | +0.88 | 71 | 49 |
| #5 | Orange Carrot | -0.68 | 53 | 65 |





