








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 91 matches | ||
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,788 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7037 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2847 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3999 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3905 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $146,504 of utility $18 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☢☯︎|SMOKE|☯︎☢ | 65% | 43 |
| #2 | SCOOB | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | BILL BIN LADIN | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | NewRegi | 50% | 36 |
| #5 | Ross Poldark | 49% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NewRegi | 141 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | Ross Poldark | 100 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | ☢☯︎|SMOKE|☯︎☢ | 93 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | SCOOB | 93 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | UnoMaster | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCOOB | +2.28 | 76 | 67 |
| #2 | ☢☯︎|SMOKE|☯︎☢ | +2.25 | 79 | 48 |
| #3 | Ross Poldark | +1.51 | 60 | 30 |
| #4 | BILL BIN LADIN | +0.95 | 65 | 63 |
| #5 | Vinnie | +0.44 | 35 | 56 |





