








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3166 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1399 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3140 | 50% |
| HE Grenades | 1081 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 603 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,259,143 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LPC- | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | ObiWanCanBlowMe | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | UdiUdiJaye | 53% | 77 |
| #4 | SCORP!ON>> | 52% | 123 |
| #5 | N1NJA CAT | 47% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | UdiUdiJaye | 53% | 77 |
| #4 | SCORP!ON>> | 52% | 123 |
| #5 | N1NJA CAT | 47% | 126 |
| #6 | PulsE | 41% | 49 |
| #7 | NINNIN | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1NJA CAT | 16 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | PulsE | 9 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | UdiUdiJaye | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | SCORP!ON>> | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | LPC- | 3 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N1NJA CAT | 620 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | SCORP!ON>> | 344 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | PulsE | 172 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | ObiWanCanBlowMe | 60 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | UdiUdiJaye | 57 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UdiUdiJaye | +2.95 | 75 | 56 |
| #2 | LPC- | +1.97 | 72 | 56 |
| #3 | N1NJA CAT | +0.29 | 76 | 58 |
| #4 | PulsE | +0.12 | 49 | 63 |
| #5 | the_mvr1k | -0.50 | 72 | 42 |





