








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 430 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 390 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,822 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2691 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3991 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4169 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3971 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,221,165 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the_mvr1k | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | Ryo | 58% | 144 |
| #3 | boltZ00 | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | Shady | 54% | 81 |
| #5 | let LPC cook | 53% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCORP!ON>> | 16 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Shady | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | UdiUdiJaye | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Ryo | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | let LPC cook | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCORP!ON>> | 796 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | Ryo | 486 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | let LPC cook | 451 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #4 | boltZ00 | 166 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #5 | ? | 103 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LPC- | +2.12 | 70 | 56 |
| #2 | Ryo | +1.99 | 66 | 64 |
| #3 | let LPC cook | +1.43 | 63 | 72 |
| #4 | Shady | +1.19 | 83 | 40 |
| #5 | UdiUdiJaye | +0.03 | 67 | 53 |





