








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 958 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3807 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4264 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3603 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3090 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $423,812 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓜𝓪𝓽𝓸 | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | Mfk | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | KeretzZ | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | ✪zeN | 46% | 63 |
| #5 | herkzz | 45% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ✪zeN | 46% | 63 |
| #5 | herkzz | 45% | 89 |
| #6 | Nemts | 41% | 17 |
| #7 | | 41% | 37 |
| #8 | Merczzz | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | herkzz | 20 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Merczzz | 6 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | KeretzZ | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Mfk | 5 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | | 4 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | herkzz | 298 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | ✪zeN | 193 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | KeretzZ | 125 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nemts | 82 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Merczzz | 79 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪zeN | +2.36 | 55 | 79 |
| #2 | KeretzZ | +1.97 | 74 | 68 |
| #3 | Mfk | +0.67 | 55 | 52 |
| #4 | Merczzz | +0.43 | 42 | 59 |
| #5 | herkzz | -0.08 | 49 | 72 |





