








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,988 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3349 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4415 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2612 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1612 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,840,267 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 502 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BooGie | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | God for a Reason | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | noSkill5594 | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | roboc0p | 45% | 76 |
| #5 | ꧁✰Resident Evil✰꧂ | 40% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ꧁✰Resident Evil✰꧂ | 40% | 104 |
| #6 | Bmaster | 40% | 60 |
| #7 | alphawho? | 38% | 61 |
| #8 | k1nG. <3 | 32% | 53 |
| #9 | dOwNeY | 31% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alphawho? | 10 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | ꧁✰Resident Evil✰꧂ | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | roboc0p | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Bmaster | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | k1nG. <3 | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dOwNeY | 158 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | k1nG. <3 | 150 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | alphawho? | 123 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | ꧁✰Resident Evil✰꧂ | 112 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | God for a Reason | 94 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alphawho? | +4.81 | 89 | 58 |
| #2 | God for a Reason | +1.86 | 41 | 53 |
| #3 | BooGie | +0.94 | 48 | 62 |
| #4 | dOwNeY | +0.76 | 65 | 67 |
| #5 | noSkill5594 | +0.17 | 34 | 45 |





