








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 594 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 553 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 119 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5656 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,372 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3492 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3508 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5384 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4988 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,879,034 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 641 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ๖ۣۜBANGZ | HoLZí°Gee | 40% | 60 |
| #6 | mUk.de | 39% | 54 |
| #7 | alphawho? | 37% | 75 |
| #8 | dOwNeY | 37% | 76 |
| #9 | k1nG. <3 | 33% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๖ۣۜBANGZ | HoLZí°Gee | 412 | 0.32 | 7 min |
| #2 | k1nG. <3 | 162 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | alphawho? | 153 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | dOwNeY | 147 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | contamet | 123 | 0.08 | 3 min |





