








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,514 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1037 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1168 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 659 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 650 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $88,064 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 368 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helmeri | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | hasbulla thug hunter🤑 | 39% | 56 |
| #3 | oupeks | 38% | 24 |
| #4 | outow | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | jamppa | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | hasbulla thug hunter🤑 | 39% | 56 |
| #3 | oupeks | 38% | 24 |
| #4 | outow | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | jamppa | 33% | 15 |
| #6 | JaakkoAA_Gaming_fan | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oupeks | 13 | 0.0271 |
| #2 | hasbulla thug hunter🤑 | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | jamppa | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Helmeri | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hasbulla thug hunter🤑 | 55 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | jamppa | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | oupeks | 31 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | outow | 27 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Helmeri | 17 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oupeks | +3.68 | 66 | 26 |
| #2 | hasbulla thug hunter🤑 | +1.60 | 61 | 27 |
| #3 | jamppa | +1.00 | 56 | 52 |
| #4 | Helmeri | +0.16 | 69 | 39 |
| #5 | JaakkoAA_Gaming_fan | -0.49 | 73 | 29 |





