








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 151 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1723 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1263 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1988 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2012 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2147 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $605,287 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 123 | 70% | 122 |
| #2 | edipoe13ᴺ̶ⁱ̶ᵍ̶ʰ̶ | 68% | 74 |
| #3 | M1elu | 65% | 163 |
| #4 | xenos & | 64% | 22 |
| #5 | Guiman | 62% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | xenos & | 64% | 22 |
| #5 | Guiman | 62% | 34 |
| #6 | 𝐉𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 | 59% | 82 |
| #7 | andrixucu jus bëtter | 50% | 20 |
| #8 | Darius™ | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 123 | 22 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | M1elu | 13 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Guiman | 7 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | 𝐉𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | edipoe13ᴺ̶ⁱ̶ᵍ̶ʰ̶ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1elu | 435 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | 123 | 405 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | 𝐉𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 | 184 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Guiman | 55 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | edipoe13ᴺ̶ⁱ̶ᵍ̶ʰ̶ | 29 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1elu | +5.27 | 79 | 61 |
| #2 | xenos & | +2.26 | 63 | 32 |
| #3 | andrixucu jus bëtter | +0.84 | 81 | 44 |
| #4 | edipoe13ᴺ̶ⁱ̶ᵍ̶ʰ̶ | +0.59 | 64 | 41 |
| #5 | Guiman | +0.38 | 67 | 49 |





