








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 844 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 166 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3074 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,093 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1440 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1350 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1909 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1394 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $708,214 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shobzzzz | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | edipoe13ᴺ̶ⁱ̶ᵍ̶ʰ̶ | 69% | 72 |
| #3 | Guiman | 67% | 30 |
| #4 | xenos & | 67% | 36 |
| #5 | 123 | 66% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Timo | 65% | 163 |
| #7 | ReplayBro | 57% | 21 |
| #8 | 𝐉𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 | 57% | 65 |
| #9 | Darius™ | 55% | 29 |
| #10 | andrixucu jus bëtter | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 123 | 28 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | Guiman | 6 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Timo | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | edipoe13ᴺ̶ⁱ̶ᵍ̶ʰ̶ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | andrixucu jus bëtter | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timo | 473 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | 123 | 406 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | 𝐉𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 | 161 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Guiman | 53 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | andrixucu jus bëtter | 34 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1elu | +5.02 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | Shobzzzz | +3.11 | 79 | 52 |
| #3 | xenos & | +2.74 | 64 | 26 |
| #4 | ReplayBro | +1.94 | 47 | 56 |
| #5 | edipoe13ᴺ̶ⁱ̶ᵍ̶ʰ̶ | +0.51 | 64 | 39 |





