








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1587 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 463 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15227 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 47,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13023 | 27% |
| Smokes | 10476 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 11023 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 12968 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,206,439 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1043 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerektS | 73% | 77 |
| #2 | Lord Woolsock | 63% | 82 |
| #3 | Nezxs | 62% | 65 |
| #4 | Lolismurf | 60% | 109 |
| #5 | sodium | 57% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZiMAN | 24 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Frank Skallebank | 23 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Franklin SkuIIfuck | 16 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Nezxs | 16 | 0.0142 |
| #5 | sodium | 8 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frank Skallebank | 1589 | 0.13 | 45 min |
| #2 | ZiMAN | 1269 | 0.11 | 24 min |
| #3 | Franklin SkuIIfuck | 955 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #4 | sodium | 525 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #5 | Lord Woolsock | 320 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vladen the sexy rat | +3.42 | 72 | 71 |
| #2 | DerektS | +1.60 | 77 | 44 |
| #3 | sodium | +0.85 | 73 | 57 |
| #4 | Frank Skallebank | -0.12 | 67 | 63 |
| #5 | ZiMAN | -0.67 | 73 | 51 |





