








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 506 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 448 matches | ||
| Wingman | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,218 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5590 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5709 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4078 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3841 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,880,573 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Z3R0 | 46% | 259 |
| #5 | Lollypop | 45% | 73 |
| #6 | EinsNagl | 45% | 253 |
| #7 | Chickenwing :) | 43% | 139 |
| #8 | Carolus R3X | 42% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z3R0 | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | EinsNagl | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Carolus R3X | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Smoms :) | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Chickenwing :) | 6 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z3R0 | 629 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | EinsNagl | 455 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | Carolus R3X | 307 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | Smoms :) | 244 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Chickenwing :) | 115 | 0.04 | 4 min |





