








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1018 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2138 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2075 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1816 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $716,213 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 363 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carolus R3X | 53% | 100 |
| #2 | Z3R0 | 49% | 193 |
| #3 | Banfy9 | 43% | 139 |
| #4 | EinsNagl | 43% | 102 |
| #5 | Lollypop | 42% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Z3R0 | 49% | 193 |
| #3 | Banfy9 | 43% | 139 |
| #4 | EinsNagl | 43% | 102 |
| #5 | Lollypop | 42% | 60 |
| #6 | Smoms :) | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z3R0 | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Carolus R3X | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Banfy9 | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Lollypop | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | EinsNagl | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z3R0 | 481 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | Banfy9 | 307 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Carolus R3X | 209 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | EinsNagl | 191 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Lollypop | 38 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smoms :) | +2.67 | 63 | 71 |
| #2 | Z3R0 | +1.53 | 54 | 74 |
| #3 | Carolus R3X | +0.80 | 46 | 56 |
| #4 | EinsNagl | -0.51 | 40 | 56 |
| #5 | Chickenwing :) | -0.57 | 32 | 55 |





