








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 646 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 272 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3088 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1652 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2582 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3783 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3165 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,319,567 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 733 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banfy9 | 49% | 167 |
| #2 | Z3R0 | 46% | 166 |
| #3 | EinsNagl | 45% | 128 |
| #4 | Carolus R3X | 43% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banfy9 | 49% | 167 |
| #2 | Z3R0 | 46% | 166 |
| #3 | EinsNagl | 45% | 128 |
| #4 | Carolus R3X | 43% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z3R0 | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | EinsNagl | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Banfy9 | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Carolus R3X | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z3R0 | 470 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | Banfy9 | 455 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | EinsNagl | 260 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Carolus R3X | 144 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smoms :) | +1.80 | 54 | 59 |
| #2 | Z3R0 | +0.21 | 48 | 73 |
| #3 | Carolus R3X | -0.91 | 38 | 56 |
| #4 | EinsNagl | -1.39 | 36 | 55 |
| #5 | Banfy9 | -2.11 | 43 | 57 |





