








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 620 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1815 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1949 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1094 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $686,079 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carolus R3X | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Banfy9 | 45% | 73 |
| #3 | EinsNagl | 42% | 45 |
| #4 | Chickenwing :) | 42% | 60 |
| #5 | Z3R0 | 41% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carolus R3X | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Banfy9 | 45% | 73 |
| #3 | EinsNagl | 42% | 45 |
| #4 | Chickenwing :) | 42% | 60 |
| #5 | Z3R0 | 41% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carolus R3X | 4 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | Banfy9 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Z3R0 | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | EinsNagl | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Chickenwing :) | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banfy9 | 159 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | Z3R0 | 108 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | EinsNagl | 91 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Chickenwing :) | 52 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Carolus R3X | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carolus R3X | +1.91 | 49 | 61 |
| #2 | Z3R0 | +1.61 | 59 | 73 |
| #3 | EinsNagl | +0.68 | 42 | 54 |
| #4 | Banfy9 | -0.31 | 49 | 56 |
| #5 | Chickenwing :) | -0.35 | 32 | 57 |





