








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
756 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1045 | 32% |
| Smokes | 684 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 894 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 608 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $232,506 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 575 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flaashii * | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | zmon | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | Rev | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | ydkmee | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | gmflash | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | gmflash | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | boioioing | 20% | 5 |
| #7 | 3Avg | 20% | 5 |
| #8 | psygnosis | 14% | 7 |
| #9 | Dildox300f200KUltraEdition<3 | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flaashii * | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | gmflash | 2 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | 3Avg | 2 | 0.0260 |
| #4 | Dildox300f200KUltraEdition<3 | 1 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flaashii * | 73 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | zmon | 60 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #3 | gmflash | 37 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #4 | psygnosis | 27 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dildox300f200KUltraEdition<3 | 17 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flaashii * | +1.63 | 86 | 48 |
| #2 | Rev | +0.79 | 76 | 40 |
| #3 | ydkmee | +0.28 | 61 | 59 |
| #4 | T 4 x X | +0.19 | 73 | 70 |
| #5 | gmflash | -0.20 | 50 | 75 |





