








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 202 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2952 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,847 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5833 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3130 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5019 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2865 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $877,435 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 493 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coteclear | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Paexl | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | boioioing | 55% | 31 |
| #4 | Flaashii * | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | Jolly Roger | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | minil9reN | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | cornz | 45% | 71 |
| #8 | REEEEEEEEEE | 43% | 53 |
| #9 | Alberto Stone | 43% | 37 |
| #10 | daddl9reN | 43% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cornz | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | daddl9reN | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Alberto Stone | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | boioioing | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Flaashii * | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daddl9reN | 296 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | REEEEEEEEEE | 200 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | cornz | 195 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Paexl | 75 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Flaashii * | 68 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REEEEEEEEEE | +1.70 | 87 | 70 |
| #2 | minil9reN | +1.64 | 69 | 70 |
| #3 | Jolly Roger | +1.01 | 66 | 62 |
| #4 | Flaashii * | +0.81 | 72 | 57 |
| #5 | boioioing | +0.77 | 67 | 68 |





