








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1867 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,358 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1278 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1256 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1620 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1204 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $563,403 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petu | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | pataässän juha | 66% | 50 |
| #3 | Al Maghreb | 62% | 138 |
| #4 | ALFAPVP | 60% | 175 |
| #5 | b0njo | 59% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ALFAPVP | 60% | 175 |
| #5 | b0njo | 59% | 193 |
| #6 | shimba- | 58% | 19 |
| #7 | KoopeeKilla | 52% | 147 |
| #8 | puukkoallu | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0njo | 17 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | KoopeeKilla | 17 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | ALFAPVP | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Al Maghreb | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | puukkoallu | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALFAPVP | 497 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | b0njo | 464 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Al Maghreb | 303 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | KoopeeKilla | 238 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Petu | 88 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petu | +6.59 | 90 | 66 |
| #2 | pataässän juha | +4.72 | 81 | 46 |
| #3 | Al Maghreb | +4.11 | 73 | 36 |
| #4 | b0njo | +3.76 | 79 | 60 |
| #5 | KoopeeKilla | +1.39 | 55 | 60 |





