








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,189 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3104 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3543 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3061 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2481 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $446,971 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ALFAPVP | 63% | 48 |
| #2 | b0njo | 62% | 108 |
| #3 | Al Maghreb | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | shimba- | 53% | 47 |
| #5 | läpipaska | 52% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | b0njo | 62% | 108 |
| #3 | Al Maghreb | 55% | 40 |
| #4 | shimba- | 53% | 47 |
| #5 | läpipaska | 52% | 147 |
| #6 | puukkoallu | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0njo | 11 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | läpipaska | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | ALFAPVP | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | shimba- | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | puukkoallu | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0njo | 225 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | läpipaska | 204 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | ALFAPVP | 120 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | shimba- | 109 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Al Maghreb | 69 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0njo | +3.94 | 77 | 60 |
| #2 | Al Maghreb | +3.12 | 71 | 31 |
| #3 | shimba- | +1.53 | 52 | 70 |
| #4 | KoopeeKilla | +1.50 | 54 | 59 |
| #5 | ALFAPVP | -2.07 | 40 | 64 |





