








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2206 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1854 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1854 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2263 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $129,674 of utility $27 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petu | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | pataässän juha | 64% | 53 |
| #3 | KoopeeKilla | 63% | 48 |
| #4 | b0njo | 62% | 118 |
| #5 | Al Maghreb | 61% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | KoopeeKilla | 63% | 48 |
| #4 | b0njo | 62% | 118 |
| #5 | Al Maghreb | 61% | 128 |
| #6 | läpipaska | 60% | 175 |
| #7 | puukkoallu | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Al Maghreb | 12 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | b0njo | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | läpipaska | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | KoopeeKilla | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | pataässän juha | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | läpipaska | 316 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | Al Maghreb | 306 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | b0njo | 300 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Petu | 80 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | KoopeeKilla | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petu | +5.82 | 88 | 65 |
| #2 | pataässän juha | +4.33 | 81 | 44 |
| #3 | b0njo | +4.11 | 77 | 60 |
| #4 | Al Maghreb | +3.89 | 73 | 38 |
| #5 | KoopeeKilla | +2.35 | 56 | 58 |





