








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 103 matches | ||
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3166 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2518 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2869 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1245 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2033 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $618,457 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pataässän juha | 65% | 48 |
| #2 | Al Maghreb | 62% | 114 |
| #3 | KoopeeKilla | 62% | 108 |
| #4 | ALFAPVP | 62% | 118 |
| #5 | läpipaska | 59% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ALFAPVP | 62% | 118 |
| #5 | läpipaska | 59% | 193 |
| #6 | Smiling_Mushroom | 54% | 24 |
| #7 | Petu | 54% | 48 |
| #8 | puukkoallu | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | läpipaska | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | KoopeeKilla | 11 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Al Maghreb | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | ALFAPVP | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Petu | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | läpipaska | 341 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | ALFAPVP | 326 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | Al Maghreb | 224 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Petu | 192 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | KoopeeKilla | 166 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pataässän juha | +4.37 | 81 | 42 |
| #2 | Petu | +3.74 | 89 | 63 |
| #3 | Al Maghreb | +3.68 | 75 | 38 |
| #4 | b0njo | +3.30 | 78 | 59 |
| #5 | KoopeeKilla | +1.39 | 51 | 60 |





