








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,985 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 138 | 7% |
| Smokes | 372 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 671 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 804 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $725,779 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 438 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Th0n | 45% | 40 |
| #7 | Incinerate | 45% | 56 |
| #8 | Ewsli. | 41% | 140 |
| #9 | Iraq toilet | 31% | 26 |
| #10 | Ne0n | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ewsli. | 219 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | ben | 206 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | keXo | 206 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Monkey D.Luffy | 147 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Incinerate | 130 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keXo | +3.62 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | Monkey D.Luffy | +2.65 | 78 | 56 |
| #3 | Ne0n | +2.49 | 81 | 57 |
| #4 | ben | +2.16 | 69 | 47 |
| #5 | Th0n | +0.86 | 68 | 35 |





