








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2539 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1524 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1470 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1669 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,163,518 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Ne0n | 50% | 24 |
| #6 | Iraq toilet | 50% | 28 |
| #7 | Ewsli. | 49% | 162 |
| #8 | Th0n | 49% | 76 |
| #9 | kush blunts worth | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keXo | 25 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Ewsli. | 16 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | ben | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Monkey D.Luffy | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Iraq toilet | 9 | 0.0160 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monkey D.Luffy | 522 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | keXo | 476 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | ben | 253 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ewsli. | 203 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Th0n | 172 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keXo | +2.65 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | Ne0n | +1.75 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | ben | +1.03 | 63 | 54 |
| #4 | Monkey D.Luffy | +0.81 | 74 | 57 |
| #5 | Incinerate | +0.42 | 72 | 52 |





