








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1884 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2187 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1853 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1894 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1772 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,957 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | colin | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | Primal | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | FATGUY | 74% | 19 |
| #4 | ✪STIKER | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | kush | kickback.com | 57% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | TrueRedux | 50% | 10 |
| #7 | DacS ツ | 43% | 28 |
| #8 | voltage | 42% | 50 |
| #9 | Banss | 39% | 33 |
| #10 | Goodbye | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DacS ツ | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Banss | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | ✪STIKER | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banss | 245 | 0.34 | 9 min |
| #2 | voltage | 163 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | kush | kickback.com | 133 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | Goodbye | 101 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | DacS ツ | 88 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | colin | +1.44 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | FATGUY | +1.10 | 55 | 81 |
| #3 | Goodbye | +0.97 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | Swenkii | +0.88 | 86 | 66 |
| #5 | Primal | +0.41 | 71 | 68 |





